This medication has given me Insomnia. I can’t sleep. My body is so tired and wants to rest and my mind is saying it’s time to party woohoo! I am laying here in our bed, cuddled up to Ben, clinging onto him, curled up into his chest for strength to fall asleep, to get tired, anything! I feel so raw and vulnerable. He won’t let me go for a walk- for good reason, it’s the middle of the night. As I now listen to his slow inhale and exhale of snores and I’m wishing I was him right now. So easy he is to fall asleep. Strong, peaceful, fearless. Wishing my brain would just shut off for four simple hours at least. So here I lay, now on my side of the bed, trying not to wake my sleeping love, writing and watching the time count down til morning. Til my eyes are stained bloodshot and these bags under them grow darker. Children will be waking and the sun will be rising. All will be well rested, but me, because this medication gives me insomnia. I will not give up, I will keep to this path of healing and I will push through the side effects that threaten my way. It’s so easy to just give up and stop taking the medication because you don’t like how it makes you feel. I did that, I’ve been there. This time I want it to be different. I want to be happy, so I'm hoping the benefits out way the risks. So for now, I will hold onto him for strength, until I can fall asleep.
This medication has given me Insomnia. I can’t sleep. My body is so tired and wants to rest and my mind is saying it’s time to party woohoo! I am laying here in our bed, cuddled up to Ben, clinging onto him, curled up into his chest for strength to fall asleep, to get tired, anything! I feel so raw and vulnerable. He won’t let me go for a walk- for good reason, it’s the middle of the night. As I now listen to his slow inhale and exhale of snores and I’m wishing I was him right now. So easy he is to fall asleep. Strong, peaceful, fearless. Wishing my brain would just shut off for four simple hours at least. So here I lay, now on my side of the bed, trying not to wake my sleeping love, writing and watching the time count down til morning. Til my eyes are stained bloodshot and these bags under them grow darker. Children will be waking and the sun will be rising. All will be well rested, but me, because this medication gives me insomnia. I will not give up, I will keep to this path of healing and I will push through the side effects that threaten my way. It’s so easy to just give up and stop taking the medication because you don’t like how it makes you feel. I did that, I’ve been there. This time I want it to be different. I want to be happy, so I'm hoping the benefits out way the risks. So for now, I will hold onto him for strength, until I can fall asleep.
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