Parenting is stepping on legos and still loving your kids in the morning.

Parenting is hard. No one likes to admit it. No one likes to admit the defeat. No one wants to be looked at like a bad parent. No one wants us to think we don't love our kids. Parenting is hard, that's the truth. It doesn't mean you don't love your kids. It doesn't mean you are a bad parent. We make choices based on our best instinct and the child's best interested involved. We learn from mistakes and knowing what kind of parent you don't want to be- and then you become it anyways. What can I possibly teach these little minds? I want them to have values and standards. I want them to be good people. Constantly wondering if you're doing the right thing, constantly worrying about these little lives that you are completely responsible for. YOU. You are their advocate. You are their protector and provider. You are their teacher and nurse. You are their punching bag and housekeeper. You don't want to mess them up! BUT remember YOU are not alone my friend. I'm gonna say it again, Parenting is hard!

There is never enough time, or money to do the things we want with our kids. I'm doing the best I can and when I feel like I'm failing, there's those little moments that creep up and stop you in your tracks. The sweet personal moments that tug at your heart strings and make you feel like you are doing a better job than you think. The "I love you mommy" and "You're the best mommy" the "You're a good mom" and "This is the best day ever".  My kids are happy. My kids are healthy. They have a mother that would walk through hell for them, some days it feels like I have. There are days I've cried and felt alone, but I had to keep it together for my children because when I feel like giving up, shattering and just let life grind me down to nothing-I have to remember who is watching, the ones my words and actions make the biggest impact on and will make a foundation that my children will build from to decide their own futures.

I have sacrificed so much for these kids: sleep, time with them- just so I could be someone they are proud to have as a mother. It was a lot to go back to school and become a nurse, I didn't think I was smart enough, I had to juggle a lot all at once, I lost a lot of time with my kids while other people got to enjoy them and I'd pray for forgiveness everyday for leaving them to make something of myself and still keep food on the table while doing it, for them. A lot of early mornings and late nights. A lot of studying instead of bedtime stories. Saturday morning clinical instead of morning cuddles. Some unexpected set backs, but the best come back. I have worked so hard for these kids, they are my biggest fans and some day I look forward to being their biggest fans while they work so hard for themselves. I can say I'm proud of the person I am today. I'm not perfect, and will I ever be- nope. Just perfect enough for this life I'm living. My kids don't need a perfect mother there is no fun it that. They need a mother that is present, one that shows up and gets things done and who is not afraid to fail, not afraid to have my kids see me fail, as long as I don't just give up.

Parenting is hard. It's hard not to yell, scold. I feel like I mess up everyday. I regret a lot of things that come out of my mouth. I say tomorrow I will do better, tomorrow the kids will listen better. Tomorrow the kids will be nicer and understand more. Tomorrow the kids won't fight. Today is always the struggle. But if I keep saying tomorrow they will be all grown up before I know it and I will have so many more regrets. Today I will be more patient. I will be more gentle. Today I will give my undivided attention. Today I will be more involved. Today the kids won't be wild. Today we will have structure.

Parenting is hard. Parenting is lonely. Some days you just don't want to get up and do it, the same thing day in and day out. A broken record. One lost shoe. Making lunches. Waiting at bus stops. Finding pants that fit them- and you. Fighting to brush teeth. Fighting to wear a jacket. Go blow your nose! Matching socks. Why is this broken? Why is this light on? STOP FIGHTING! Bedtime struggles. Stop touching everything in the grocery store and get off the floor! Can I have a snack? Someday it's a 5 course breakfast, other days- its a granola bar on the way out the door.

Parenting is hard, but it can also be the most rewarding thing on the planet. I love being with my kids, I hate missing time with them, even though some days I'd give anything for just 5 minutes of quiet. Everything you do is just better with the ones you love. I was told once "You love being a mom", it tugged at my heart strings that someone noticed and said that to me. I do. I do love being a mom. My children are a blessing. I honestly can say, I don't know where I would be without them, but that doesn't mean that parenting isn't hard. I'm trying not to raise assholes. They may drive me insane, but they also keep me sane. They keep me planted and some days I'm the one that's learning from them. There is no greater pleasure then to be the one to watch and help this little gift I was given grow.  One day, there will be so much quiet and stillness in a once loud and busy home that the silence will hurt. No scolding, no yelling, no frustration, no stomping of little feet or laughing from their lips. One day, I won't find cups and silverware in the couch. One day, my throw blankets and pillows won't be thrown all over the floor recovering from being used as a fort. One day, the tub won't be full of toys and occasionally overflowing with bubbles. One day, my things will be right where I left it. One day, I won't have a mile high laundry pile. One day, the fridge and cabinets won't empty so quickly and the sink won't fill up so fast. One day, the kitchen table won't be cluttered with schoolwork and artwork. One day, there will be no one wanting my attention. One day, I'll look back and long for the days of chaos when the house was loud and dirty and my family was all tucked safely under one roof sleeping in their beds and I could just peek in and kiss their sleeping heads any time I wanted. Yes parenting is hard. You may feel tired, broken, overwhelmed, stuck, but someday when you are well rested and can take a hot shower any time you want, you will look back and wonder why you ever complained about all of these "little" things in the first place.

First they steal your bed...then they steal your heart and then your phone charger.

Parenting is stepping on legos and still loving your kids in the morning.